Bliss

The Divine Miss O

The stick turns positive and in the instant that you realize you are pregnant, you are different. You suddenly have a new list of worries about life and the life you will grow and love.

In the first week I worried that the test was wrong, a false negative. In the first month I worried each time I went to the bathroom if I was going to find blood in my underwear. In the first trimester I wondered how I was going to creatively announce my pregnancy. In the second trimester I worried about the gender. The day she became Olivia to us I worried if she would have enough hair for a bow. The third trimester I worried about labor and if I would be a good mother. The day she born I worried about whom she resembled. Unfortunately. I never worried about how I would pick up the pieces if she never came home.

Olivia Buchanan Huber was born on a stormy Friday morning and this is her story.

January 23^rd 2013 – I woke up for work on a Friday and immediately was wondering what it would be like to be pregnant and the endless possibilities that would follow. My husband and I had started the year off with the goal to have a baby. 

I turned on the shower and took a pregnancy test out of the box and promised myself it was too early to even detect and I would not get upset if it said negative. I followed the instructions on the box and sat the test on the bathroom counter while I jumped into the shower. I continued getting dressed while forcing myself to ignore the stick until I was ready for work.

           

I mentally prepared myself to see “Not Pregnant” appear on the stick but at soon as I looked down and saw a perfect “2” I took a deep breath and felt myself change. There it was, “Pregnant, 1-2 Weeks”. I was pregnant, on our first try, and I was in happy disbelief.

I had dreamed up so many cute ways to tell my husband we would be parents. There was a newborn sized onesie sitting in a box above the stove with the phrase, “Baby Huber Coming Soon” embroidered in light blue font. I planned on wrapping it and giving it to him on a Friday night so we could celebrate the entire weekend together. He would drink a beer and I would sip water while discussing possible names and future plans.

None of that happened.

Proud Dad.

I ran out of the bathroom and into the bedroom screaming, “oh my god” repeatedly, while frantically waving the magic stick in Rob’s face. I frequently bent over, grabbing my knees to steady myself and then spring up taking a deep breath and bursting into giggles again while repeating “holy shit, oh my god, I am pregnant, we’re going to have a baby” in no particular order.

My husband is the brain of this marital operation and I am thankful for that. I like to think of my life in movie moments and he is great at bringing me back down to reality. I see an elaborate nursery with a closet bursting with miniature outfits, matching shoes and the perfect bow that ties the whole look together. He sees medical bills, college funds and expensive teenage years. I try to instill the importance of top of the line everything and he reminds me babies are known for destroying everything in their tiny paths.

With this being said, upon processing the news I just told him about our tiny nugget baking away in my stomach, I could see the wheels in his head turning out a budget spreadsheet while instructing me to take more tests just to make sure. The positives kept on coming.

It is my favorite my morning memory. In that moment it was no longer about us, our lives revolved around our baby.